Today

What's your definition of a kiss? Just wondering.

Life is like a swiftly tilting planet, and the milkyway comes from the cow who jumped over the moon.

"Dear Mother,

 

"On purpose?" is not an appropriate response when I tell you I went jogging.

 

Sincerely, no, I was being chased by gophers."

 

I thought that was funny, thanks dearblankpleaseblank.com!

I know I'm not alone, but seriously?!?

So, I had a REALLY BAD day yesterday... I don't know why really. I just am so stressed over my AP classes that I'm kinda just shutting down. My body is on strike again. It's sending shooting pains through my arms (like fingertips up into the base of my neck) and also in my leg. Caffeine makes my head feel fuzzy and funny, and not in a good way. I had some for the first time yesterday, and it totally overpowered the Ibuprofen I'd taken earlier that day. But Dr. Pepper tastes pretty good... I talked to my cousin for awhile after that (maybe that's why I was in a bad mood not the caffeine...Not that my cousin makes me grumpy, but he made me talk about things that make me grumpy because he didn't know about any of it.) And then I went home...an hour late...my mom was so mad! I had been helping someone with chemistry which is why we had stayed, and then while I was talking to my cousin, she had been finishing her homework. My mom yelled at me when I got home. and I went into my room and cried, then I went downstairs to get more Ibuprofen, and my older sister (who normally is the one who comforts me) told me that my younger brother (who had had to wait at the school while I was busy) had told her that she was suppose to ignore me, and then she did just that. I was crying again before I turned around, but she kept ignoring me. I cried for several minutes before I calmed myself down enough to start on my AP History homework. I finished all of my homework before I had mutual, and I didn't want to go. I really think that life is just having issues. I'm sitting by some of my friends I've known since 8th grade, and they haven't noticed that I'm crying, they're to busy. GRRRRRRRRR sometimes I hate myself. I hate being jealous, I hate being small, I hate my nose, I hate how I never reach my potential, I hate that I know everyone, but almost no one knows me. I'm done writing for awhile because it makes me too upset.

loosely fitting skin # dos

I'm me. I know that's who I am, but who is me? Me is a little girl who spends more time consulting novels than her parents. Me is a girl who wanted to read so bad, but my mom wouldn't teach me until my older sister had almost finished. Me is a girl who has to look out for everyone while they think they're looking out for me. Me is a girl who just wants to be done with high school and on to college. Me is a girl who sat for hours on her bed reading, all through the night most of the time. Me is a girl who struggles to gain weight because when I was sitting on my bed reading, I wouldn't eat, I would forget. Me is someone who has nightmares every night, even though they're supposed to be for little kids. Me is a girl who went by the nickname 'nobody' in ninth grade. Me is the person who's best friend 'set her up' with her first boyfriend, and regretted it. Me is someone who can't hate anybody, but wishes she could sometimes. Me is a girl who is invisible to teachers and administration. Me is a girl who is slightly bi-polar sometimes. Me is a girl who adores Michael. Me is a girl who hears awful things everyday from people who are dating. Me is a girl. Me is, well, me.

Writing helps

I know I sound like a whiny little child whose candy was just dropped in a pile of dirt and leaves, but I'm not entirely sure I can help it. I don't know how to make anything better, I'm so scarred that when people come and go, the people I need the most will go. I know the world is a dark place if that's all you look for, I understand that it can be the happiest place known to man if we're looking in the right places, so I guess I just need some practice. I have amazing people surrounding me, my family, my friends, even my less-than-friend friends. They all have amazing things about them, and I know because I can't help but see those things. No matter how long winter seems, summer will always come. I get to see Michael at least twice a week. :) I am smart and can get whatever grades I chose. I get to see my dad this weekend. My sister is being ordained as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am extremely fit for someone who does almost no physical activity (I'm extremely fit for any teenage girl actually.) I get to do a project on Texi Dance Halls around World War II with two great friends. I can control myself when I need to. Oh who am I kidding? I'm an extremely luck person. Despite that, I'm still a person, one who is still scarred of the same things, "sex, love, rock 'n' roll, heavy metal disco." actually that pretty much sums it up. Have a good life y'all! :D