Background

Hi all,
I know I just wrote, but I find I feel very cramped and confined in my house. My brain still hasn't recovered completely from school, but I miss school soooo MUCH! The academics are honestly something I wouldn't be able to handle right now, but I miss my dance classes. I want school to start just for that reason, I'll take the brain-bashing part just fine, so long as I can dance every day afterwards. I haven't really kept up with my hours of exercise I was doing before school let out, and I'm loosing weight because of it. I hate fickle bodies! (note: not bodies, just the fickleness of them) I also think I wouldn't mind actually going on dates my senior year, now that I'm single it's totally plausible, but probably not probable. I adore hanging out with my friends though. I probably wouldn't be writing today if it weren't for the fact that I "helped" my uncle and his family move instead of going to one of my friends' houses. Though I have to admit, when I told my dad I wouldn't be of any use, I wasn't expecting to spend almost two hours sitting in an empty master bedroom waiting for my pants to dry. (more on that next time, maybe.) But alas I did, and all that after getting up early to clean the house for a showing, and the people came over twenty minutes early, and didn't stay on the property more then five minutes. It felt like a lot of wasted effort. I'm pretty sure they were just curious about the inside, not even really interested to start with! It irks me more then just a little bit. I digress. Back to dancing, something that I wish for more every time I get upset. I loved the showcase at the end of the year, I loved the fact that I was in all but two of the numbers, more than anybody else. I loved that I helped with almost every part of it. In short, I loved being the center of attention. I really want that again, the feeling of being good at something. I want to be in the spotlight, so maybe that's why I picked the background I picked, maybe that's why I write at all, maybe that's why I listen to other people's problems, maybe that's why I work so hard to be there for everyone. I want that millisecond of attention. Who knows why I want it, human nature, to many siblings, not enough siblings, I don't know. but I know what I want to do. I want to get as good as I can at dance, maybe good enough for a scholarship. I want to go to college, get a degree in dance, and then teach my way through psychology graduate school. Because I want that attention, but I also want to help. Maybe I'll want something else in a year, I don't know, but not knowing is part of being a teenager right? For now, I want to dance, and teach, and choreograph, but I like listening, and helping and being able to say they wouldn't have made it there without me, I don't think I can truly say that yet, but maybe someday...